8 Steps to Make Meetings Suck Less
“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry, American Author If you’ve ever walked out of a meeting thinking to yourself, “That’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back.”, you’re not alone. Research from Steven Rogelberg at UNC Charlotte has shown that 50% of meetings are ineffective, and that number increases when we look at remote meetings. Talk about time wasters! Before we discuss best practices, remember there is a difference between efficient and effective. Your meeting may only be 20 minutes (efficient) but if there are no decisions made, next steps identified, or tasks assigned, it may not be effective. Adopt these habits to create and conduct more efficient and productive meetings. Purpose – Before you schedule anything, know the purpose of your meeting. What’s the goal? Can you articulate specific and anticipated outcomes for the meeting? If not, consider waiting to schedule it, or send an email instead. Create an Agenda (and Circulate It!) – Craft your agenda around your meeting purpose. This is your meeting GPS. Invest the time to think about: Attendees – Meetings are one place where “The more the merrier!” does not always apply. Too many people, or the wrong people in the meeting, only serve to create confusion, delay decisions, and waste time. Based on your purpose and your agenda, who needs to be in the meeting to help you achieve your outcomes? Others may need to be apprised of discussions or decisions, but they may not need to attend (and they’ll silently thank you for not including them.) Start and End on Time – This may sound obvious but how many meetings have you scrambled to get to on time only to be told “We’re just going to wait a few more minutes until more people show up.” Delaying the start time is disrespectful to those who made a point to be there on time. Similarly, end the meeting at the designated time. Everyone is back-to-back. If your meeting runs over, it creates a domino effect for other meetings, as well as more stress for attendees (this is where the agenda again comes in handy!) Starting and ending your meetings on time creates “certainty” for people, which can alleviate a threat response in the brain (thereby reducing stress!) Be Inclusive – Have you ever been to a meeting where one person holds court, and no one can get a word in edgewise? If yes, you know that meetings will be more productive, and people will be more engaged if they have a voice. Integrate practices that allow everyone to add their two cents. Remember that extroverts will have a lot to say without any prompting. Introverts often need time to digest information and form opinions, and you may need to draw them out. Finally, if one person is on Teams, consider having everyone on Teams to create a level playing field. There’s nothing like being the only one on video to create disengagement. Create Clear Roles and Responsibilities – You can greatly increase the effectiveness of your meeting by explicitly stating what’s expected in terms of participation. Is this a brainstorm where everyone can contribute? Are you sharing ideas for people to weigh in on? Have you made decisions that you want people to be aware of? Do you expect to share ideas and have others execute? Letting people know this at the start of the meeting eliminates confusion and can increase engagement. Clearly Define Next Steps and Accountability – You’ve invested the time and energy (yours and others’) to bring people together, don’t let it go to waste by not ensuring that someone has responsibility for the action items that came up in the meeting. Make sure everyone is clear about what needs to get done, by whom, and by when. Capture Notes and Circulate Them – Documenting what’s been discussed and decided in the meeting creates a record of what’s transpired. This is helpful for anyone who may have missed the meeting, and provides a reference if something doesn’t go to plan, there’s confusion about who owns which piece of a project, etc. And you don’t need to be the notetaker. Ask for a volunteer or make it a rotating assignment for standing meetings. Finally, a meeting hack from Stewart Butterfield, CEO of Slack: If you want to find out which of your regular meetings are mission-critical or fluff, cancel all of them and see what happens. And here are a few resources you may enjoy for holding better meetings. 6 Tips to Run an Effective Meeting, Backed by Science The Surprising Science Behind Successful Remote Meetings Sample meeting agendas
The Paralyzing Fear of Failure and How to Overcome It
Are you afraid of failure? I am. I can’t tell you how much energy I’ve spent over the course of my life trying not to fail. From an early age, we are generally taught that failing is bad and success is good. At least, that was the message I got. I don’t recall anyone touting the benefits of failing or not getting it “right.” And thus begins a journey for many of us, of trying desperately not to fail, embarrass ourselves, or otherwise look stupid. Being historically risk-averse, it still surprises me that I decided to start my own business. There are so many ways in which one could fall flat on one’s face as an entrepreneur. Which has gotten me thinking about what, exactly, constitutes failure? Even the dictionary definitions are somewhat vague, including, “lack of success,” “nonperformance of something due,” and “a person or thing that proves unsuccessful.” Hmm… not much clarity there. Ok, fine. If you’re Boeing, and the plane fails to fly, we could clearly say that is a “nonperformance” issue. In day to day business, there are so many things that don’t follow the script that someone has created, but that doesn’t mean they’re actually failures. And while frustrating or disappointing, “failure” is critical to learning and innovation. In his book, Creativity, Inc., Ed Callum (Co-founder of Pixar) says that: “Failure is a manifestation of learning and exploration. If you aren’t experiencing failure, then you are making a far worse mistake: You are being driven by the desire to avoid it. And, for leaders especially, this strategy – trying to avoid failure by outthinking it – dooms you to fail.” Here are three of my takeaways from the book on how to reframe failure to overcome it : Let’s look at a real life example for reframing failure: In 2020, I launched a program and got, wait for it… two people signed up. I pushed the start date to 2021 with the goal of signing up additional participants. When the 2021 date rolled around, I was holding steady at two people and I ran it anyway. Some might say that hitting only 20% of your goal is a failure. And in many businesses, an 80% miss on target would certainly not be deemed a success. If you’re Boeing, a 20% success rate doesn’t instill confidence in your ability to keep me safe on my next flight. And we can probably all agree that a 20% success rate in Boeing’s case could be considered “nonperformance.” In my business, in this instance, however, I could shoulder the risk. And while outcomes were different than I envisioned, there were plenty of upsides. So do I see it as a failure? I’m going with a confident and affirmative “No.” First, it was an opportunity to grow as a person. I put myself out there in a different (read: uncomfortable) way and stretched myself in new ways. Second, I learned a lot about email marketing and program launches, among other things. All valuable information that has been leveraged in the intervening years. Third, the two people who signed up will tell you that it was fabulous. In the end, we all agreed that it turned out just perfectly and the way it was meant to. 🙂 The next time you are heading down a path that looks or feels like failure, view it as a pit stop along the road to success, one that fosters learning, growth, creativity and new perspective.
8 ½ Lessons from Self-Employment
In 2015, I needed to make a change, and I knew I wanted my life to look different, but I knew virtually nothing about being a business owner. Turns out, when you decide to hang out a shingle, there are myriad things you need to figure out! While the learning continues with each passing year, I thought I’d share 8 ½ nuggets of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way – one for each year of self-employment. 8 ½. Give myself the same grace and support that I offer to others. Not everything goes to plan. It’s ok to slow down, it’s ok to not have all the answers and it’s ok to not always do “it” perfectly, whatever “it” may be. (This is ½ because I have not fully absorbed this into my consciousness – yet.) This week’s call to action: Identify five lessons you’ve learned over the last five years. What’s on your list?
What Coffee and Salad Can Teach Us About Personal Branding
I was out of town for a couple of days and had two strikingly different brand experiences, I wanted to tell you about it. 🎉 – I was out to eat and ordered a salad with dressing on the side. The salad came dressed. About five minutes after she had served me, the waitress came back and apologized, realizing she had made an error, and asked if I wanted a new salad (I didn’t.) Not only did she own up to the error, I was pleasantly surprised she offered to bring me a fresh salad. To me, it spoke to the woman’s values and work ethic, as well as the restaurant’s. That, coupled with great food and a nice atmosphere would prompt me to recommend the restaurant to anyone planning to be in the area. ➡️ A great customer service experience and a strong branding moment. 🔥 – Contrast that with my hotel experience the following morning. At 5:30am, I realized my room’s coffee maker wasn’t working. By 6:15am I was hyperventilating. (I have an unhealthy attachment to my morning coffee.) I go to the front desk to see about getting coffee before the restaurant opens at 6:30. There is no one at the front desk. A woman finally came out looking annoyed that I interrupted her. Her response to my coffee inquiry was, “I don’t know. I’m not over at the restaurant. They don’t open until 6:30.” 🤨 She had zero concern for my coffee “crisis”, zero bedside manner, and made zero attempt to help me resolve the issue. With little effort, she could have improved the situation, e.g.: ➡️ Lousy customer service experience and brand failure for both her, and the hotel as a representative of their brand. Up until that point, I would have recommended the hotel to someone. Why should you care about my recent travel experiences? You may not (and I’m not offended!) My point is that everyday we get to decide how we want to show up in the world. And seemingly small exchanges with others make a big impact on our overall effectiveness and personal brand. It takes almost no energy to create a more positive interaction with someone, whether you work in a restaurant, hotel, or corporate environment. A smile, a friendly gesture, a little curiosity, or an offer to help. And slightly more energy to be proactive about fixing an issue. However we decide to approach a situation will influence others’ experience of us. While my initial thought was to just walk away (because I was annoyed and uncaffeinated!), I did manage to say “thank you. ”Because matching her rudeness is not who I wanted to be at that moment. (And I think it would disappoint my mother…) Do you know what your personal brand is?
The 2 Vital Factors to Be Phenomenal
I’ve been thinking a lot about my clients – the relationships, the challenges, the results. Even more specifically, the clients who have phenomenal results. What is it that separates the ones who have phenomenal coaching results from those who have merely good results? You could be thinking to yourself, “Duh. It’s the coach, Sarah!” And you would be partially correct. But I am only one piece of the equation. There are three parties involved in coaching: me, the client, and the client’s manager. There are, however, two things I’ve seen in my coaching that distinguish clients who make the biggest gains. #1 – Reflection Reflection is the act of pondering, considering, or mulling something over. And It’s another place where I am going to say, “one size doesn’t fit all.” In whatever form you like, for as much time as you want, pause, contemplate, and assimilate. Pause: Reflection requires some level of consciousness. If you’re always on autopilot, you’re less likely to take time out to consider what transpired in your last meeting or one-to-one with your manager. Being present in the moment enables you to pause in your day to reflect. Contemplate: Here is where you can replay a scenario and get curious. Did you espouse the qualities that are important to you? Did you honor your values? Did you respond to others in a manner consistent with your brand? Considering your internal world can create more self-awareness. Sidebar: contemplating is not the same as obsession. If you are replaying scenarios in your mind over and over (and over!) it’s likely not helpful or productive. Obsessing is not the best use of your time. (Not that I have any personal experience there…) 🙂 Assimilate: Based on what you identified during your contemplation, think about what you would like to do more of, less of, or differently in the future. Now go do that thing! It’s also helpful to note that reflection happens on a time continuum. Most of us spend time thinking about what has already transpired. There’s great value looking in the rearview mirror to identify what we will or won’t change about our habits, behaviors, language, etc. in the future. I suspect that fewer people spend time reflecting forward, aka visualization. When faced with a similar situation in the future, what thoughts or behaviors do you want to carry forward, and which ones do you want to modify or leave behind? Thinking about both the past and future is helpful. There is no shortage of questions you could use to help you reflect. Here are a few prompts in case you need them: #2 – Courage Reflection is great, and yet on it’s own, it only serves to create awareness. It’s what we decide to do with the awareness that makes the difference. And here is where courage comes in. Because some days it takes grit, energy, and mental fortitude to show up differently. To do things differently than we did them yesterday. To stand in the face of fear and take a new and unfamiliar action anyway. My clients have used a variety of tactics to build courage when confronting a challenge or adversity: The key to any of this is doing something different than what you’ve always done. Albert Einstein was quoted as saying, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” And the same is true for behavior change. If nothing changes, nothing changes. And that is the differentiator among clients. The ones who have the most insight, turn around difficult relationships, build visibility and credibility, gain clarity, or experience the greatest shifts in behavior and mindset, are the ones who dig in on reflection and have the courage to take action on those reflections. There’s nothing wrong with “good” results but why settle when you can have “phenomenal?” What can you do today to be phenomenal?
4 Leadership Lessons From Open Mic Night
In addition to her day job, my friend Stacey does stand-up on the side. For fun. 🤷🏻♀️ The hubster and I went out (on a “school night!”) to watch Stacey perform during open mic night. Having never been to an open mic night before, I didn’t know what to expect, but when the evening was over, it occurred to me that leaders could take a few cues from comics. 1. You need courage – It takes guts to get up in front of an audience and try out your material. All eyes are on you, and you don’t know if, or how, the joke will land. Similarly, leadership calls on you to be brave anytime you’re forced outside your comfort zone or hit uncharted territory. Takeaway – Most of us have more courage than we realize, and when we rise to the occasion, we are more transparent, authentic, and communicate more clearly and directly. 2. It’s ok to not be perfect – We watched eight comedians before Stacey took the stage. Some of them were reading from their notes, some didn’t deliver the punch line effectively. Some just looked terrified to be in their own skin. And yet, I got the sense that none of them were expecting perfection of themselves. Takeaway – Leaders who are willing to be vulnerable often experience greater success. They are more relatable and create space for trust. By embracing your humanness you give others permission to do the same. Life isn’t pass / fail so cut yourself some slack for not getting it “right” every time. 3. Pivot gracefully when things don’t go to plan – On the night we went, Stacey was trying out new material. One joke didn’t land and without missing a beat, she quipped, “Really? I thought for sure that one was going to fly.” and then she moved on to her next joke. She made a point to engage the audience and because she was comfortable, we were comfortable. Takeaway – Not performing to the level of our own (or others) expectations is going to happen occasionally. What separates the strong leaders from the mediocre ones is the ability to show up authentically in the moment. 4. Have fun – The point of comedy is to make people laugh. The comics all knew they weren’t going to nail every joke. They were there to practice and have fun. Takeaway – Like stand-up, every day represents an opportunity to practice leadership behaviors. You’re also allowed to have fun in the process, and that creates a ripple effect for those around you. One critical element that separated Stacey from the rest of the pack was her presence. I happen to know she has emceed and/or hosted a lot of events in her day, so she’s had a lot of practice and it shows. She’s articulate and self-assured. Her cadence, inflection, connection with the audience, demeanor and body language all send the message that she knows what she’s doing. This instills trust and confidence in her, and makes it easy for people to root for her, even if a joke doesn’t hit home. You may not be rushing out to sign up for open mic night, but we can all benefit from having strong executive presence.
11 Smart Ways to Improve Your Networking Game
If you’re currently in transition, thinking about making a change, or deciding to hang out a shingle, these suggestions will help you level up your networking game. Are you happily ensconced in your role? These same tips apply to building your social capital internally and externally to help achieve your goals. Don’t overthink it. Some people are shy about reaching out; they don’t want to impose, etc. Networking is building relationships. Any more than that, you’re making it more complicated than it needs to be. Identify your network. Create a list of 150 people you know. Yes, you do know that many people! Don’t limit yourself to business contacts. Think about your neighbors, your Pickle Ball buddies, parents of your kids’ friends, your stylist, etc. Everyone knows someone. You never know who can connect you with your next great opportunity. Prioritize your list and start your outreach accordingly: This will enable you to practice your networking pitch with your strong ties first. There’s less pressure to be “perfect” because they’re going to love you even if you fumble all over your words. Next, reach out to your dormant ties (emphasis on #6 below – build the relationship first, acknowledge you’ve been out of touch, ask how they’re doing, etc.) Now you’re ready to reach out to your weak ties. You will have had some networking wins, your confidence will be higher, and you will know exactly what you want to communicate, thus putting your best foot forward. Have a plan. Some things to consider: Just start. Yes, it may sound counter to what I’ve just said in #4, but it’s not. Yes, you want to have a plan so you come across as prepared and organized, but the plan doesn’t need to be grandiose. You don’t need five versions of your resume to be prepared to talk to different types of people, etc. Go with what you’ve got to start. Focus on the relationship first. Spend time reconnecting with people or getting to know them and helping them know you before you jump in with, “Do you know of any jobs?” or “Do you have any jobs in your company?” We live in a relationship economy. People first, task second. Be OK not having all the answers. In addition to reconnecting or meeting new people, the beauty of networking is gaining different perspectives, and learning something new. Networking will expose you to ideas you haven’t yet considered. Don’t wait until you have everything “figured out” in order to start the process. It’s iterative. Make it easy for people to help you. There are two ways to do this. If possible, avoid saying, “I’m looking for a senior-level engineering role in a technology company. Please let me know if you hear of anything.” Why? Because people are too busy. Despite best intentions, the likelihood that someone will think of you when they hear of something two months down the road is slim. Make it easy for them to support your search. Offer to help. Sometimes we’re so focused on our own needs we forget to offer help. If someone has taken the time to meet with you, make sure to offer your support to them. It can be as simple as, “Is there anything I can do for you?” Don’t “dine and dash.” Keep people in your network apprised of your progress. If someone has introduced you to new people, send a quick follow-up note and let them know how the meeting went. It’s another opportunity to thank them for their support, and also stay on their radar. Tip: Make a calendar reminder to follow up at an appropriate juncture. Don’t give up. If you’re in full-on job search mode, it can be exhausting (it can also be fun and exhilarating – it’s your choice.) People may not get back to you right away. Some may rebuff your request to meet. Some meetings won’t be as fruitful as others. Don’t take it personally. Just move to the next person on your list. (And how great is it that you have a list of 150 people to tap into!) 🙂 Need a few email scripts to help you out? Click here. Heading to a conference? Here are 42 Networking Questions you can ask.
Why Protecting My Time Is the Hardest Boundary to Keep
Boundaries. I thought I was so good at them. Truly, I did. And in many ways, I am. What, apparently, I don’t know how to do well, is safeguard time on my calendar. Maybe it’s a deeply ingrained service mindset. Regardless, I frequently find myself saying, “Yes, I can meet at that time!” when I very clearly have the time blocked off for myself to work on a project. The impact is not lost on me. It creates a domino effect in which: I have to remind myself that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Behavior change takes time. I became skilled at setting the boundaries above over time, not overnight. Houses have fences, office buildings have walls, and highways have dividing lines. All serve as physical and visual boundaries that help us and others stay in our respective lanes. Some of my work habits need a few more guardrails, apparently. I am confident, however, that through self-awareness and relentless focus on my monthly/quarterly/annual goals, I’ll continue to get better at protecting time on my calendar and staying on track. (A new whiteboard to keep it all front and center has also been invaluable!) How about you? Where could you set stronger boundaries to support your goals?
How Your Thoughts Can Limit or Liberate You
It’s one of those days. My inner critic (his name is Melvin) is hard at work spreading untruths and negativity to all of my brain receptors. All of this leaves me frustrated, overwhelmed, sad, and occasionally angry. Apparently, Melvin is immune to the realities of my day-to-day, and his favorite pastime is to taunt me with falsities. My logical and rational mind knows none of this is true. If I need proof, I only have to look around my desk to be reminded that I have a real live business with real live clients. I even have a mailing list! 🙂 Today, rather than ruminating on Melvin’s monologue, I’m calling B.S. and writing to you about it. Why? I am a big believer in the concept of “What you feed, grows.” I have no desire to nurture the ideas that Melvin bandies about, despite his best intentions to keep me safe from the travesties of life. To indulge in and believe the mental narrative only serves to limit me, not liberate me. Your call to action is to identify places where you may be limiting yourself. Even having the awareness is a great step towards setting yourself free.
6 Reasons You Should Take Time Off
In finance, the acronym IRR stands for Internal Rate of Return (which measures the profitability of an investment.) My friend Tony Martignetti (a former finance guy!) refers to IRR as the Infinite Return on Rest. I ❤️ this! In our ridiculously overscheduled, stressed-out world, people will often say “I don’t have time to take time off.” That’s how conditioned we are to grind it out. But I would argue, you can’t afford to not take time off. I get it. Taking time off often means coming back to a deluge of email, voicemail, and Slack messages. It can feel like you’re more buried than you were before you decided to cut out early on Friday. And it can create a compounding interest on stress (to stick with the finance metaphor!) YET… rest is crucial to wellbeing, whether it’s in the form of actual sleep or a short break away from your desk. It helps our brains and bodies heal and refresh. It enables us to come back to work revitalized, energized and often with a new perspective (see more on the DMN below.) The Downsides of Working Yourself to the Bone: I’m likely not telling you anything you don’t already know, but in case it’s slipped your mind with all the work you’ve been doing lately, let me remind you. Making Time for Rest Are you ready to take time off yet? How about a short 10 minute break away from your desk? Let’s review the upsides of taking time off and how it promotes wellbeing. You have probably heard me say it before and it bears repeating. One size does not fit all. You are the only one who can determine what form of rest works best for you. But if you need a few ideas, check out this article. There’s a reason I included Wellbeing as one of the anchors in the Leadership Fluency Framework. Tending to your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional wellbeing provides a strong foundation for whatever work (and life) is going to throw your way and enhances your leadership capacity. The benefits of giving yourself a break are innumerable. My wish for you is that you figure out what that is, do something about it, and determine your own rate of return. And I hope it’s infinite! I’m giving you permission to rest. Go for it.