I’ve been thinking a lot about my clients – the relationships, the challenges, the results. Even more specifically, the clients who have phenomenal results.
What is it that separates the ones who have phenomenal coaching results from those who have merely good results?
You could be thinking to yourself, “Duh. It’s the coach, Sarah!”
And you would be partially correct. But I am only one piece of the equation.
There are three parties involved in coaching: me, the client, and the client’s manager.
- I’m responsible for showing up and coaching well (as stated, duh).
- The organization is responsible for supporting the client by creating opportunities to test new skills and behaviors, offering feedback on what’s working and what still needs improvement.
- The client is responsible for investing the time and energy to learn. This usually means doing more than simply showing up for the coaching sessions. What it looks like specifically is different for everyone because there’s no one “right” way to embed learning.
There are, however, two things I’ve seen in my coaching that distinguish clients who make the biggest gains.
#1 – Reflection
Reflection is the act of pondering, considering, or mulling something over. And It’s another place where I am going to say, “one size doesn’t fit all.”
In whatever form you like, for as much time as you want, pause, contemplate, and assimilate.
Pause: Reflection requires some level of consciousness. If you’re always on autopilot, you’re less likely to take time out to consider what transpired in your last meeting or one-to-one with your manager. Being present in the moment enables you to pause in your day to reflect.
Contemplate: Here is where you can replay a scenario and get curious. Did you espouse the qualities that are important to you? Did you honor your values? Did you respond to others in a manner consistent with your brand? Considering your internal world can create more self-awareness.
Sidebar: contemplating is not the same as obsession. If you are replaying scenarios in your mind over and over (and over!) it’s likely not helpful or productive. Obsessing is not the best use of your time. (Not that I have any personal experience there…) 🙂
Assimilate: Based on what you identified during your contemplation, think about what you would like to do more of, less of, or differently in the future. Now go do that thing!
It’s also helpful to note that reflection happens on a time continuum. Most of us spend time thinking about what has already transpired. There’s great value looking in the rearview mirror to identify what we will or won’t change about our habits, behaviors, language, etc. in the future.
I suspect that fewer people spend time reflecting forward, aka visualization. When faced with a similar situation in the future, what thoughts or behaviors do you want to carry forward, and which ones do you want to modify or leave behind?
Thinking about both the past and future is helpful.
There is no shortage of questions you could use to help you reflect. Here are a few prompts in case you need them:
- What went well?
- What didn’t go as well?
- What would I like to change next time?
- What could be different by making this change?
- If that change takes place, what would that afford me?
- Who do I want to be in these situations?
- How can I espouse that persona today?
#2 – Courage
Reflection is great, and yet on it’s own, it only serves to create awareness.
It’s what we decide to do with the awareness that makes the difference.
And here is where courage comes in.
Because some days it takes grit, energy, and mental fortitude to show up differently. To do things differently than we did them yesterday. To stand in the face of fear and take a new and unfamiliar action anyway.
My clients have used a variety of tactics to build courage when confronting a challenge or adversity:
- Breathing exercises
- Meditation
- Visualization
- Reaching out to support network
- Reliving past successes
- Strenuous exercise
- Journaling
The key to any of this is doing something different than what you’ve always done.
Albert Einstein was quoted as saying, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” And the same is true for behavior change. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
And that is the differentiator among clients.
The ones who have the most insight, turn around difficult relationships, build visibility and credibility, gain clarity, or experience the greatest shifts in behavior and mindset, are the ones who dig in on reflection and have the courage to take action on those reflections.
There’s nothing wrong with “good” results but why settle when you can have “phenomenal?”
What can you do today to be phenomenal?
