Here’s a secret: I’ve never been great with setting goals for myself. If it’s for you (or when I had a manager), no problem. Goals achieved! For me, not so much.
I used to think I was the only one with this hangup, and turns out I’m not. (Phew!)
The problem with goals is that they are outcome based (duh) which means they often depend on factors outside our control. They also don’t always align with our identity—who we see ourselves as, or our self-concept.
In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear distinguishes between process-based and identity-based outcomes.
- Process-based: “I want to lose 10 pounds.” You focus on the steps to achieve the goal.
- Identity-based: “I am a fit person.” Your habits flow from how you see yourself.
He also says: “It’s hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying beliefs that led to your past behavior.”
This is basically a reframe of what Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
If you want to level up and achieve new heights, you have to shift what you’ve done in the past.
The real game-changer? Your standards.
Standards are grounded in your self-concept and identity and shape how you show up every day. Over time, they become habits. Goals rely on willpower and motivation.
Goals are future-focused and give you something to strive for. Standards are focused in the here and now, and support behaviors that help you achieve your goals.
For instance, for years, I said I wanted to get to the gym and exercise at least three days a week. I was inconsistent at best based, solely on how I felt each morning. Sometimes I nailed it, sometimes I missed it completely.
Hence, another challenge with goals – they can be binary in an “I succeeded” or “I failed” way. And failing usually feels crappy for most of us.
Standards align the vision we have for ourselves with our values.
Over the last several years, I developed a standard of being fit and healthy and I am now in the habit of moving my body virtually every day. I don’t think about it, I just do it, and my level of motivation (most days) has little impact on my behavior.
We can look at this through the Leadership Fluency lens as well. If you were to say “I want to be more influential,” this is a goal. If you define a standard for yourself, you might instead say, “I will consistently speak up in meetings and advocate for my ideas.”
The shift in this case is that instead of chasing the goal of influence, you are embodying it.
Here are a few prompts to help you create standards:
- What are your values? What matters most to you?
- What are the daily or weekly standards that reflect those values?
- When you abide by those standards, what are you committing to?
Here’s an example:
- My value = family
- My standard = family dinner at least one night/week
- I’m committing to = time with my family, who are the number one priority in my life.
