A while ago, I spent time working alongside my husband and his cousin demolishing a kitchen, built circa 1970.
Getting dirty may be fun for some, not so much for me. And I’m not particularly handy, but this felt like a good time to step up and be a team player (also not a strong suit…) 🙂
So, I pulled nails (many, many, nails!), drilled (very few) screws into 2 x 4’s, and ripped out a little trim board. And I swept and shop-vacced – a lot.
All of which left plenty of time for contemplation (it’s hard to listen to music or audiobooks with power tools as a backdrop.)
Four insights came to mind.
- It was awkward – because I don’t regularly find myself operating power tools (or any tools for that matter), using them takes some adjusting. I don’t always have the proper stance or correct vantage point.
- I wasn’t efficient – this isn’t a surprise… when you try an activity you don’t normally engage in, you’re not the most proficient. (See above – awkward!)
- I didn’t always get it right – after trying to drill a couple of overhead screws, I conceded defeat and passed the drill to my husband. In this instance, I’ll blame my shoulders for that vs. my ineptitude but still… I forfeited the match and the drill won.
- I was reluctant to ask for help – my husband does not expect me to be as skilled or fast as he is around a construction project. He’s happy with another set of hands, and as he frequently tells me, “Anything you do is one less thing for me to do.” But my pride got in the way. It wasn’t until he saw me struggling with the aforementioned overhead 2x4s and offered help before I gave up.
So what’s the difference between this scenario and the workplace? Apparently, not much (though with a lot less perceived risk and stress on my part.)
When you’re surrounded by colleagues and you’re being paid to know what you’re doing, it feels a lot more daunting to ask for help. (And, ok yes, in some instances or environments, it may be career suicide, but mostly it’s not.)
Even if admitting you need support isn’t career-ending, I suspect the majority of us are ill at ease when we’re not adept at something.
Pride and ego are frequent obstacles to sharing our humanness and vulnerability with another. Most of us would much rather try to figure things out on our own and suffer in silence before asking for help.
Here’s the thing. If we never step out of our comfort zone and practice new skills and behavior, the likelihood of getting better is, well, nil. Zip. Zero. Zilch.
And if you don’t know how to do something, one of the best ways to learn is to have someone else show you or offer advice.
➡️ Your call to action is simple. Ask for help when you need it.
Here are a couple of scripts to help you out.
- “Hey, would you mind doing a quick proof read on this to make sure I didn’t miss anything?”
- “Hey, can I get your two cents on something?”
- “Hey, do you have a minute to offer advice on how to do this better/faster/more effectively?”
- “Hey, any insight from that last meeting you can provide?”
- “Hey, I’m having a brain cramp, can I run something by you?”
- “Hey, do you have two minutes for me to vent?”
Yes, it really can be that simple.
You don’t need to wait until you’re stuck, confused, overwhelmed, spinning your wheels, or otherwise hampered at work to ask for assistance. (See above!)
And, if you need more support than that, you could always consider finding a mentor, or a coach. 🙂 (Oh, come on. You knew I was going to put that in there, didn’t you?)
At some point, it’s useful to pause and reflect on what you gained as a result of enlisting others to support you. A few questions for self-discovery include:
- What does it “cost” me to try to figure everything out on my own?
- How did asking for help support me?
- What was different than trying to do this on my own?
- What insights did I have through this process?
- What do I want to carry forward for next time?
- How can I pay it forward?
Discomfort is temporary. Pushing through it leads to lasting change.
Proof that I was there – I even have safety goggles!
