There is no shortage of ways to develop your skills as a leader. With a few clicks on your computer, you could grab a book (or 10), and enroll in any number of online learning, leadership, mentoring, or coaching programs.
These aren’t bad strategies if you have the time, the resources, and the focus to follow through on them.
But there are also plenty of ways to build your leadership fluency and efficacy in real-time simply by being curious and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.
Obvious and overlooked strategy #1:
There is one question I repeatedly find myself asking clients.
“Have you asked?”
Coaching conversations cover a wide range of diverse topics, environments, and politics, and the question always applies.
Why? Because inevitably, clients are trying to work through a question or a problem that requires involving the people impacted by the solution. Yet they are trying to figure out the solution in a vacuum.
- Not sure how to motivate people on your team? Ask.
- Not sure how to support someone’s career development? Ask.
- Not sure if you’re giving your new hire too much free reign or being a “helicopter leader”? Ask.
- Not sure if your presentation for the board is aligned with their needs? Ask.
If you’re struggling to work through a challenge, look to engage others in the process. Then ask them what they need.
Obvious and overlooked strategy #2:
“We are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm. Some are on super-yachts. Some have just the one oar.”
The above quote was penned by writer Damian Barr at the beginning of the pandemic. It’s made its way around the world and is a powerful example of true empathy as it aptly describes the disparity between the haves and the have-nots.
Empathy means that you can emotionally identify with someone else. You can understand what they are feeling in a particular situation. This substantially changes how you interact with others and your outcomes as a result.
If you want to up your game, build your empathy game.
In her blog post “This is your brain on empathy”, neuroscientist Dr. Sarah McKay lays out six steps for training your brain to be more empathetic. (And you know she’s awesome because her name is Sarah!) 🙃
