3 Novel Ideas to Help You Speak Up
“For many, the imagined cost of speaking up is almost always higher than the actual cost. And we live with the cost in our imagination daily, dying a little bit over time as we keep our insights to ourselves. Speaking up is a skill, and we can only improve it with practice.”
8 ½ Lessons from Self-Employment
In 2015, I needed to make a change, and I knew I wanted my life to look different, but I knew virtually nothing about being a business owner. Turns out, when you decide to hang out a shingle, there are myriad things you need to figure out! While the learning continues with each passing year, I thought I’d share 8 ½ nuggets of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way – one for each year of self-employment. 8 ½. Give myself the same grace and support that I offer to others. Not everything goes to plan. It’s ok to slow down, it’s ok to not have all the answers and it’s ok to not always do “it” perfectly, whatever “it” may be. (This is ½ because I have not fully absorbed this into my consciousness – yet.) This week’s call to action: Identify five lessons you’ve learned over the last five years. What’s on your list?
What Coffee and Salad Can Teach Us About Personal Branding
I was out of town for a couple of days and had two strikingly different brand experiences, I wanted to tell you about it. 🎉 – I was out to eat and ordered a salad with dressing on the side. The salad came dressed. About five minutes after she had served me, the waitress came back and apologized, realizing she had made an error, and asked if I wanted a new salad (I didn’t.) Not only did she own up to the error, I was pleasantly surprised she offered to bring me a fresh salad. To me, it spoke to the woman’s values and work ethic, as well as the restaurant’s. That, coupled with great food and a nice atmosphere would prompt me to recommend the restaurant to anyone planning to be in the area. ➡️ A great customer service experience and a strong branding moment. 🔥 – Contrast that with my hotel experience the following morning. At 5:30am, I realized my room’s coffee maker wasn’t working. By 6:15am I was hyperventilating. (I have an unhealthy attachment to my morning coffee.) I go to the front desk to see about getting coffee before the restaurant opens at 6:30. There is no one at the front desk. A woman finally came out looking annoyed that I interrupted her. Her response to my coffee inquiry was, “I don’t know. I’m not over at the restaurant. They don’t open until 6:30.” 🤨 She had zero concern for my coffee “crisis”, zero bedside manner, and made zero attempt to help me resolve the issue. With little effort, she could have improved the situation, e.g.: ➡️ Lousy customer service experience and brand failure for both her, and the hotel as a representative of their brand. Up until that point, I would have recommended the hotel to someone. Why should you care about my recent travel experiences? You may not (and I’m not offended!) My point is that everyday we get to decide how we want to show up in the world. And seemingly small exchanges with others make a big impact on our overall effectiveness and personal brand. It takes almost no energy to create a more positive interaction with someone, whether you work in a restaurant, hotel, or corporate environment. A smile, a friendly gesture, a little curiosity, or an offer to help. And slightly more energy to be proactive about fixing an issue. However we decide to approach a situation will influence others’ experience of us. While my initial thought was to just walk away (because I was annoyed and uncaffeinated!), I did manage to say “thank you. ”Because matching her rudeness is not who I wanted to be at that moment. (And I think it would disappoint my mother…) Do you know what your personal brand is?
11 Smart Ways to Improve Your Networking Game
If you’re currently in transition, thinking about making a change, or deciding to hang out a shingle, these suggestions will help you level up your networking game. Are you happily ensconced in your role? These same tips apply to building your social capital internally and externally to help achieve your goals. Don’t overthink it. Some people are shy about reaching out; they don’t want to impose, etc. Networking is building relationships. Any more than that, you’re making it more complicated than it needs to be. Identify your network. Create a list of 150 people you know. Yes, you do know that many people! Don’t limit yourself to business contacts. Think about your neighbors, your Pickle Ball buddies, parents of your kids’ friends, your stylist, etc. Everyone knows someone. You never know who can connect you with your next great opportunity. Prioritize your list and start your outreach accordingly: This will enable you to practice your networking pitch with your strong ties first. There’s less pressure to be “perfect” because they’re going to love you even if you fumble all over your words. Next, reach out to your dormant ties (emphasis on #6 below – build the relationship first, acknowledge you’ve been out of touch, ask how they’re doing, etc.) Now you’re ready to reach out to your weak ties. You will have had some networking wins, your confidence will be higher, and you will know exactly what you want to communicate, thus putting your best foot forward. Have a plan. Some things to consider: Just start. Yes, it may sound counter to what I’ve just said in #4, but it’s not. Yes, you want to have a plan so you come across as prepared and organized, but the plan doesn’t need to be grandiose. You don’t need five versions of your resume to be prepared to talk to different types of people, etc. Go with what you’ve got to start. Focus on the relationship first. Spend time reconnecting with people or getting to know them and helping them know you before you jump in with, “Do you know of any jobs?” or “Do you have any jobs in your company?” We live in a relationship economy. People first, task second. Be OK not having all the answers. In addition to reconnecting or meeting new people, the beauty of networking is gaining different perspectives, and learning something new. Networking will expose you to ideas you haven’t yet considered. Don’t wait until you have everything “figured out” in order to start the process. It’s iterative. Make it easy for people to help you. There are two ways to do this. If possible, avoid saying, “I’m looking for a senior-level engineering role in a technology company. Please let me know if you hear of anything.” Why? Because people are too busy. Despite best intentions, the likelihood that someone will think of you when they hear of something two months down the road is slim. Make it easy for them to support your search. Offer to help. Sometimes we’re so focused on our own needs we forget to offer help. If someone has taken the time to meet with you, make sure to offer your support to them. It can be as simple as, “Is there anything I can do for you?” Don’t “dine and dash.” Keep people in your network apprised of your progress. If someone has introduced you to new people, send a quick follow-up note and let them know how the meeting went. It’s another opportunity to thank them for their support, and also stay on their radar. Tip: Make a calendar reminder to follow up at an appropriate juncture. Don’t give up. If you’re in full-on job search mode, it can be exhausting (it can also be fun and exhilarating – it’s your choice.) People may not get back to you right away. Some may rebuff your request to meet. Some meetings won’t be as fruitful as others. Don’t take it personally. Just move to the next person on your list. (And how great is it that you have a list of 150 people to tap into!) 🙂 Need a few email scripts to help you out? Click here. Heading to a conference? Here are 42 Networking Questions you can ask.
Why Protecting My Time Is the Hardest Boundary to Keep
Boundaries. I thought I was so good at them. Truly, I did. And in many ways, I am. What, apparently, I don’t know how to do well, is safeguard time on my calendar. Maybe it’s a deeply ingrained service mindset. Regardless, I frequently find myself saying, “Yes, I can meet at that time!” when I very clearly have the time blocked off for myself to work on a project. The impact is not lost on me. It creates a domino effect in which: I have to remind myself that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Behavior change takes time. I became skilled at setting the boundaries above over time, not overnight. Houses have fences, office buildings have walls, and highways have dividing lines. All serve as physical and visual boundaries that help us and others stay in our respective lanes. Some of my work habits need a few more guardrails, apparently. I am confident, however, that through self-awareness and relentless focus on my monthly/quarterly/annual goals, I’ll continue to get better at protecting time on my calendar and staying on track. (A new whiteboard to keep it all front and center has also been invaluable!) How about you? Where could you set stronger boundaries to support your goals?
6 Reasons You Should Take Time Off
In finance, the acronym IRR stands for Internal Rate of Return (which measures the profitability of an investment.) My friend Tony Martignetti (a former finance guy!) refers to IRR as the Infinite Return on Rest. I ❤️ this! In our ridiculously overscheduled, stressed-out world, people will often say “I don’t have time to take time off.” That’s how conditioned we are to grind it out. But I would argue, you can’t afford to not take time off. I get it. Taking time off often means coming back to a deluge of email, voicemail, and Slack messages. It can feel like you’re more buried than you were before you decided to cut out early on Friday. And it can create a compounding interest on stress (to stick with the finance metaphor!) YET… rest is crucial to wellbeing, whether it’s in the form of actual sleep or a short break away from your desk. It helps our brains and bodies heal and refresh. It enables us to come back to work revitalized, energized and often with a new perspective (see more on the DMN below.) The Downsides of Working Yourself to the Bone: I’m likely not telling you anything you don’t already know, but in case it’s slipped your mind with all the work you’ve been doing lately, let me remind you. Making Time for Rest Are you ready to take time off yet? How about a short 10 minute break away from your desk? Let’s review the upsides of taking time off and how it promotes wellbeing. You have probably heard me say it before and it bears repeating. One size does not fit all. You are the only one who can determine what form of rest works best for you. But if you need a few ideas, check out this article. There’s a reason I included Wellbeing as one of the anchors in the Leadership Fluency Framework. Tending to your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional wellbeing provides a strong foundation for whatever work (and life) is going to throw your way and enhances your leadership capacity. The benefits of giving yourself a break are innumerable. My wish for you is that you figure out what that is, do something about it, and determine your own rate of return. And I hope it’s infinite! I’m giving you permission to rest. Go for it.
The Danger of Underestimating People (and What to Do Instead)
The most successful leaders I know realize the value and importance of building a community around them.
The Real Cost of Ignoring Work-Life Balance
In the novel “Lessons in Chemistry” by Bonnie Garmus, the main character, Elizabeth, signs off her TV show with “Children, set the table. Your mother needs a moment to herself.” In the 1960s, when the book takes place, this was a novel concept – a housewife taking time to nurture herself. At the time I read this, I happened to be looking at aggregate information from past and present clients. The themes for coaching were in line with what I expected to see: What surprised me, however, was the sheer number of clients who when asked “What’s missing in your life right now?” responded with “work/life balance” or some variation therein. Men and women. Apparently, in the 21st century, taking time for oneself is still an unfamiliar practice. Yet the personal and professional impact of this is significant. At some point during coaching, clients invariably say that they are working too many hours, lack quality experiences with their family, have no time to themselves, and can’t find the bandwidth to pay their bills. In short, work is paramount and takes priority over all else. Ironically, it’s this very paradigm that gets in the way of achieving the desired goals for coaching noted above. I vividly remember what it felt like to be in that place. The volume of work was unrelenting, there were not enough hours in the day (I was commuting for three of those hours), my stress was through the roof, and I dreaded Sunday nights. That meant Monday was looming and I would have to get up and do it all over again (often after having worked over the weekend.) I’m stressed just thinking about it. It took time, but I finally realized that three of us were suffering in that equation. Does this sound familiar? In hindsight, there were things I could have done differently. (Feel free to use these for yourself!) The first two aren’t always possible. The last two are always possible. You are the only one who can prioritize you. Where in your life are you not putting yourself at the top of your priority list? Your call to action this week is to find small ways to be #1 on your To Do list. Here are suggestions to get you started: These actions may not seem like much, but over time, the small shifts will yield big results. You (and your brain) need a break. If you’re the type that likes data to support behavior change, check out this Forbes article about how stress damages your brain and how to fix it, or this article from HBR on why leaders need self-care. (Repeat articles.) If you can identify with any of this, let’s hop on a call! Maybe now is the right time for coaching. Just sayin’… 🙂
5 Simple Ways to Network Over the Holidays
The holiday season is a great time of year for networking! Here’s a quick refresher on the benefits of networking if you need it: And, networking isn’t just for job search! It’s a great way to meet new people, be exposed to new perspectives and ideas, get help with problem-solving, gain access to information, and many other benefits. If you don’t feel comfortable networking, here are five ways to make it more seamless. Your call to action is this: When you find yourself in a new crowd, make a point to walk away from the gathering with at least one new work or personal connection. You may be surprised where it leads you!
3 Quick Tips to Improve Your LinkedIn Profile
Many years ago, I was doing outplacement consulting and supporting clients who were in transition. At some point during every engagement, we talked about networking as the best strategy to find a new job. I’ll never forget Derek.* After spending a couple of decades at his company, the idea of networking was scary to him (understandably so!) and he was resistant to trying it. After several weeks, Derek arrived for a coaching session all excited. Me: “You’re awfully excited today.” Derek: “I’ve been networking!” Me: “That’s awesome! Tell me all about it!” Derek: “I sent LinkedIn invitations to ten new people.” 🤦🏻♀️ As you will recall from past newsletters: It is not seeing how many new connections you can wrack up on LinkedIn. To be clear, the basic premise of LinkedIn is connecting and building new relationships. So there’s nothing wrong with sending connection requests to people to broaden your reach. The mere act of “linking”, however, is not in and of itself networking. Now, let’s talk about LinkedIn etiquette. Send a Personalized Invitation How many times have you received (or sent!) a LinkedIn request without a personalized message attached? Because the functionality on LinkedIn changes depending on the platform, you can unwittingly send a connection request without including a note. Mistakes aside, it’s helpful and suggested to provide someone with a frame of reference for the connection. Adding a message is especially important if you haven’t actually met the person – make sure to let them know why you’re looking to connect. Another benefit is that a year from now when you’re scrolling through your connections and trying hard to remember who this person is, you can look at the message you sent with your connection request and be reminded of how and why you connected. Know Your Platform As mentioned above, the process for making a connection request will look different on your computer vs. your mobile device. (If you’re a LinkedIn veteran, you can skip the tutorials below.) Here’s what it looks like on my Mac. When I’m getting ready to send an invitation to connect, I always pause to remind myself of which platform I’m on so I don’t inadvertently send one without a personal note. The mobile interface is a bit less intuitive for me. Focus on the Relationship First Every week I receive at least a couple of connection requests from people who are in business to support coaches. Here’s a screenshot of a recent invitation I received. Last I checked, I am not in marketing, and I’m not in non-profit. And the person didn’t specify why they wanted to connect so there’s little incentive for me to click the “accept” button at first blush. Here’s another. This person hasn’t told me anything about who they are or what they do, and they haven’t indicated why they’re reaching out to me specifically vs. someone else. Bottom line, do your research first, be intentional about why you’re connecting, and emphasize building a relationship before anything else.