There’s a Sam Hunt song called Breaking Up Was Easy in the 90’s. Meaning there was no social media to tell you at any given moment where your ex was, what they were doing, and who they were doing it with, while you (presumably) pined away for them at home, alone.
Before social media, it was also more difficult to get famous. You had to work harder and employ people (agents, PR pros, marketing agencies, etc.) to get your name out there.
And given how difficult and expensive it was, you had to really, really, really want to create a platform for yourself.
Social media has turned multiple industries on their heads and made it easy to find people with a lot less time, effort, and money. We even have kids and young adult “influencers” making their mark on the world before they’ve given any thought to getting their driver’s license.
For many of us though, even a fraction of that kind of notoriety and attention induces fear and panic. Thus, many of us keep ourselves small. We don’t want to be seen.
When LinkedIn first launched, I remember being amazed that people put their thoughts out there for all the world to see. Even pulling together an anemic LinkedIn profile sparked abject terror in me because my prevailing thought was, wait for it, “What will people think!”
Which is exactly the same thought I had when I first launched a weekly note in 2022 (if you’re not signed up, you can do that here!) I was petrified, to put it mildly.
And I did it anyway!
And here we are two years later, I haven’t died from my fear of being seen, I’ve had exposure to new and different people, and had the opportunity to share a point of view. Along the way, many of you have shared how a particular weekly note has helped you.
I’ve learned that there is not much to be gained by playing small. BUT, making small changes can really add up over time.
This has been true for this weekly note, the building of my business, my workout routine, etc. It’s also true for every client I have ever coached.
In a discussion with a coaching client, she acknowledged that she was hiding in the “shadows.” Through our conversation, she realized that she wasn’t engaging in activities that could be beneficial to her development and overall career because doing those things meant stepping outside her comfort zone.
Armed with this insight, we strategized ways she could participate more fully in her role, organization, and community, in a manner that was aligned with her goals and values. She is starting out with manageable, seemingly smaller tasks to build her confidence and comfort level.
Incremental shifts create a lasting impact.
You may feel uncomfortable practicing a new behavior, but it’s not glaring or over the top to others even if it feels monumental to you internally.
Case in point, I have a client who is practicing being more direct and assertive. He feels really uncomfortable doing this in certain business contexts and is afraid of being perceived as obnoxious, overbearing, rude, etc.
The thing is, that’s not his nature. It’s not who he is. So, while he may feel like a bull in a china shop, he’s not being perceived that way. And that is the key.
So, back to you.
When you play small, you deny yourself the opportunity for growth and more joy, and you rob the world of enjoying the gift of you.
Your call to action is to get out there and make yourself seen and heard! Identify one area in which you could stretch outside your comfort zone a tiny bit more. After a while, you’ll notice that it no longer feels like a stretch.
