How to Conduct a Mid-Year Check In
In the past I’ve taken myself on a retreat and reflected on the year. It was an insightful exercise! Waiting until the end of the year to do it, however, doesn’t give me the opportunity to make adjustments in the second half of the year. Now I conduct a mid-year review. It’s not too late to make shifts now if something feels off course for the remainder of the year. Here are 10 questions I use to keep me on track: Feel free to use these to guide your own mid-year review!
4 Steps for Taking Time Off
Summer typically means taking more time off and enjoying the benefits of the warmer weather. But many leaders I know struggle to truly take time away from work. They may be “out of the office” but they’re constantly checking email, or their out-of-office message says “I’m on vacation but if you need me here’s my cell.” Which is basically an invitation for people to call you and for you to not be on vacation. Yes, in our “always-on” culture it can be hard to disengage and truly disconnect. And yes, situations come up that you personally need to handle. Just because it’s summer, doesn’t mean that work stops, or that deadlines suddenly evaporate into thin air. And yet the research is clear. Giving yourself a reprieve from work is good for your brain, your body, your spirit, and your interpersonal relationships (especially spousal relationships, speaking from personal experience…) Burnout is real! Take a vacation and you’ll come back to work with renewed energy and a different perspective. How to take time off: Still not convinced? Here are a few resources you might enjoy. Serious Leaders Need Self-Care How To Use All Your Vacation & Really Unplug (28 min audio file + transcript) From Burnout to Balance 20 Strategies to Prevent Burnout
Do you have the executive presence to reach your big, hairy, audacious goals?
I recorded a video on executive presence with my friend and colleague Julie Quinne, Leadership Strategist and founder of the Uncommon Collaboratory, and we discussed the challenge leaders face when they are told they need to “increase their executive presence.” It can be a frustrating experience because often, leaders aren’t given specific feedback about what needs to change or how to change it. And, there is no singular definition for executive presence that the leader can use to guide them. Yet, executive presence is critical to success because it drives how people experience us, which in turn informs our personal brand, assignments we’re given, jobs we might be considered for, clients we might land, etc. Here’s how I like to frame executive presence: Your self-concept + Others’ experience of you = Your impact Let’s break it down. Your self-concept: this refers to your attitudes, beliefs, mindsets, self-esteem, and assumptions. Different attitudes will affect your demeanor, language, and approach to people and work. Do you know what attitudes and beliefs you hold? Others’ experience of you: this refers to your actions and behaviors. What do other people see you doing, and what it’s like for them to work with you? While none of the examples above is universally good or bad, they affect your interactions with others and how you’re perceived. Your executive presence. Here is a quick process to help you increase your executive presence: For example: You’ll notice that neither of these experiments is particularly technical or difficult. Often, it’s the small changes cultivated over time that have a cumulative and big impact. Don’t be discouraged if your experiments don’t immediately yield the results you’re looking for. Shifting behaviors and mindsets doesn’t happen overnight, and it can take time for others to see you in a new light.
5 Unobvious Questions to Master Your Mindset
I am a big believer in mastering your mindset. The place we lead from ultimately determines our effectiveness and success. In a crappy mood? Inner critic running rampant? Full of fear or self-doubt? All of that impacts your interactions and, therefore, effectiveness. And not in a positive way (stating the obvious here… forgive me.) In a great mood? Feeling confident? Feeling optimistic and excited about your work and life? That also impacts your interactions and effectiveness. In a positive way (more obviousness here…) Life is going to throw curveballs. Things are not always going to go according to plan. The challenge is that our brains are hardwired for negativity. We are genetically programmed to be on the lookout for threats and predators. Each curveball coming at you provides your brain an opportunity to revel in the negativity, rejoice in the rumination, and frolic in self-sabotaging messages. Here’s a quick mindset-shifting strategy: When you feel your inner critic is getting ready to pounce, ask yourself one, some, or all of these questions: Each of these presents an opening to change your perspective and, therefore, your mindset. Need a real-world example? Here you go. There was a time I was promoting a group mastermind program for women in leadership. Guess what? I ended up pushing it out! There are a number of stances I could have taken when I realized it wasn’t going to happen in the way I envisioned. If Melvin (my inner critic) had his way, I would have spent precious time beating myself up about what I did wrong, why it was a stupid idea, to begin with, etc. Not the best use of my time. Definitely not good for my mindset. Instead, I opted to look for the gifts and opportunities to grow. And there were many! To name a few: So while the outcome is different than what I planned, I am not sitting here beating myself up about it. Instead, I feel great about the outcomes I did have! How about you? What’s something that hasn’t gone to plan and how can you adopt a new perspective about it?
3 Ways You May Be Undermining Yourself at Work
Recently a coaching client mentioned how frustrated she is at not getting recognition from her manager for her work. Her: “I do a pretty good job managing the scope of my responsibilities and hitting my goals.” Me: “Do you do a ‘good job,’ or a ‘pretty good job?’” Her: Long pause Me: “What are you noticing?” Her: “I’m downplaying what I do, and I don’t even know I’m doing it. I think I do this more than I realize.” Me: Long pause Her: “I’m expecting him to recognize my work, and I’m not giving him any reason to when I place caveats on it.” Discussions like this are fairly common with my clients, and I’ve noticed a few trends. Here are three ways you may be undermining your contribution and not realizing it: As James Clear said, “Your current habits are perfectly designed to deliver your current results.” Which habits are you willing to break?
Imposter Syndrome is Sneaky. Here is How to Manage it
Have you ever had that feeling of waiting to be “found out?” Waiting for someone to tell you “Oops! Sorry, we made a mistake. You don’t really belong in this job.”? That little voice in your head that says, “You don’t know what you’re doing. You don’t have enough experience. You’re not fooling anyone. It’s just luck you’re in this role.” Yeah, that’s Imposter Syndrome. Officially defined on Wikipedia as “…a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments or talents and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud.’” Said differently, Imposter Syndrome is when other people’s perceptions about your competence exceed your level of self-confidence. Regardless of how you choose to define it, if the voice in your head is anything like the voice in my head, it can really suck the lifeblood right out of you. For many of us, it can induce undue stress, and be a serious drag on energy, which can affect the impact you have and the results you achieve. Think about it – when was the last time you did your best work and showed up as your best self when your inner critic was wreaking havoc in your mind? Whenever a coaching client starts to go down a path that sounds like imposter syndrome, one of my first questions is usually: “What evidence do you have to support that this is true?” I’ve yet to have a client present any evidence, compelling or otherwise, that verifies they aren’t “good enough” or qualified to do the job they’re in. In fact, usually, there is an abundance of evidence to suggest just the opposite – that they are highly skilled and highly valued (case in point, most organizations don’t invest in coaching for someone who isn’t valued!) Imposter Syndrome is a big, gnarly topic. We won’t cover it all today, but here are three brain hacks you can try. The more you practice, the more your build and strengthen new neural pathways, making it easier and easier each time around to not let it hijack your brain. Name It Research has shown that by naming or labeling what you’re feeling you can reduce the stress response in your brain. This can help to put things in their proper perspective and give you a more realistic view of the situation. Saying the emotion out loud or writing it down offers a reprieve. And, according to neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett, the more granular you can get with labeling, the better! Look for Contrary Evidence Just because you have a thought, doesn’t make it true. If you feel yourself going down the rabbit hole of Imposter Syndrome, look for evidence to support the opposite of your thoughts. Practice Mindfulness How can you be fully attuned to the present? Imposter Syndrome will have you living in the past (obsessing about what you didn’t do well enough) or the future (obsessing about how you aren’t going to measure up in that next presentation, interview, etc.) Mindfulness keeps you in the here and now. Bonus Hack Keep a notebook handy. Any time someone offers you a compliment, make a note of it, including who said it and the date. When your Inner Critic starts to wake up from its nap, pull out the notebook to be reminded of why everyone else thinks you are a rock star. Remember, you are not your thoughts, and feelings aren’t facts. The myriad ways to practice mindfulness are endless. And they are not complicated and don’t need to be time-consuming. Find a strategy that helps get you outside of your head and into the moment. To paraphrase the writer Richard Bach, if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them. Don’t let Imposter Syndrome hold you back!
3 Fail-Safe Ways to Amplify Your Voice
I once facilitated a group session in which I asked participants to graphically depict the concept we had just discussed. They had carte blanche to draw, sketch, doodle, mind map, use metaphor, words, word clouds, etc. When the group came back to debrief the exercise, one person said, “I cheated. I searched online for images.” I’d call that “resourceful” rather than “cheating.” I hadn’t provided any ground rules that said looking online was off-limits! Language plays an important role in shaping not only how others interpret what we’re saying and also impacts how others perceive us. Both of these affect our influence. If you want to amplify your voice and increase your influence, your words matter. Here are a few factors to consider: All of these habits diminish the value of your knowledge and expertise. They detract from your executive voice and ability to make a stronger impact. (Full disclosure, I have been working to eradicate the filler “like” for longer than I care to admit.) Try these strategies to amplify your voice: Notice Your language Use your cell phone to record yourself speaking in a meeting for a minute or two. Listen to the audio and identify one thing you did well and one thing you’d like to do change. Then practice doing both. Use Strong Verbs If you’ve ever had someone review your resume, you’ve probably heard this. The same rule applies to the spoken word. “I am spearheading…” is stronger than “I’m coordinating…” Exchange weak verbs for stronger ones. (Doing this on the fly requires being present in the moment so your brain can catch up to your mouth.) (Take a Deep Breath and) Say What You Mean If your confidence is low or you’re nervous, it can be common to add qualifying statements, share too much detail, or over-explain. This makes it harder for your audience to follow your train of thought and you appear unsure of yourself. Here’s the good news. Once you see something, it’s hard to “unsee” it. You’ll start to notice your language more and take steps to course correct. By doing this repeatedly, you’ll build new neural pathways in your brain and obliterate the habits that hold you back! If you’re looking for more tips on building your executive presence, you can download my executive presence quiz here! Or click here to jump on my calendar.