Have you ever sat in a leadership meeting, listened to the conversation around you, and thought, “This doesn’t work for me anymore”?
Not in a dramatic, Honey Boo Boo, storm-out-of-the-room kind of way. More like a quiet awareness that seeps in: what used to feel energizing, or at least productive, now feels stagnant or off.
It’s not that you’re “too good” for the room. It’s more likely that you’ve grown, and the space (and the people in it) haven’t kept pace.
When you get to know yourself and honor what matters—values, identity, mindset—you start leading with more clarity and intention. You make different decisions.
And that can make the room you’re in feel misaligned.
Here’s how you know it might be happening to you:
- You spend most of your time managing friction or trying to build momentum that isn’t there
- You’re not growing as much as you’d like (or at all)
- The team, department, or organization seems more focused on maintaining the status quo than evolving
- You overthink your ideas so they’ll land, rather than just saying what you mean
- You spend more time adapting to the system than shaping it
- It’s a frustrating place to be.
And also a powerful one, because awareness gives you options.
Here are four ways to move forward if you’ve outgrown the room you’re in:
- Get clear on what’s no longer working. Is it the culture, values, or leadership? Or something else? You can’t change what you can’t name. And you can’t move through discomfort if you keep talking yourself out of it.
- Experiment with showing up differently. Raise the bar on conversations. Ask harder questions. Say the direct thing. Embody the kind of leadership you want to see more of. Sometimes the shift you’re craving starts with you and reveals what’s truly possible, or not. (And when you model the behavior, you give permission to others to do the same.) Need more inspo? Check this out.
- Start spending time in other rooms. You don’t need to quit your job or torch the place on your way out. But you do need to get around people who challenge you (in the good kind of way), stretch you, and speak your language. That might mean reconnecting with a mentor, joining a peer group, or just having more conversations outside your usual bubble. Your gut will let you know you’re in the right room.
- Be honest about whether it’s time to leave. You don’t owe anyone a long-winded justification. But you do owe it to yourself to prioritize you and your needs. If the current space can’t support who you’re becoming, then staying for convenience or comfort will cost you more in the long run than leaving.
And if you’re not sure yet, that’s OK too. Just don’t confuse “not sure” with “I’ll stick it out another year and see.” One is reflection. The other is fear or denial.
A few questions to sit with:
- What version of me is this space rewarding?
- What part of my leadership am I minimizing (or muting) to stay here?
- Am I doing more adapting than contributing?
- What would it look like to lead without compromising?
Remember, outgrowing a room isn’t a crisis. It’s an opportunity.
