Recently, I did something that seriously pushed me to my outer edges. I spent three full days in a room full of people I didn’t know, at a speech mastery program, getting up on stage (repeatedly!) to practice in front of them.
Me, practicing with my cohort.
If, like me, you’re a serious introvert, you know how much energy this took.
So this wasn’t just a speaking challenge – it was a full-on shock to my nervous system.
Me and 30 others, with no “wing-Mann.” (Did you see what I did there?) 🙂
And yet… It was a tremendous experience. I walked away with far more than just performance techniques for a better keynote.
Here are three takeaways from getting out of my comfort zone:
1. Habit Isn’t the Same as Intention
We spent the better part of a day reviewing and practicing “operative words” in our speeches – the words we want to emphasize to make an idea pop.
Turns out, what we accentuate in everyday conversation often isn’t what lands best from a stage.
For example, in real life, I might say:
“My dad lived an hour away from me and in the opposite direction of the hospital where he was being treated.”
But from the stage, that same sentence works better with different emphasis:
“My dad lived an hour away from me and in the opposite direction of the hospital where he was being treated.”
Subtle? Yes. But more powerful.
To be more effective on stage, I have to kick old speech habits to the curb and become more intentional with my language.
And this is true for leadership, too.
How often have you gone into a meeting underprepared, or been caught off guard by a tough question, and sputtered out whatever came to mind?
It’s a common (and habitual!) response. But the most impactful leaders pause, get centered, and respond with intention.
2. It’s OK to Suck
Okay, “suck” might be strong. (But it got your attention, right? I was being intentional!) 🙂
The fact is, no one got up on stage and nailed it out of the gate. We were all practicing new ideas and techniques in real time to craft more impactful stories.
What made it easier was that we were all in the same boat, which helped to take egos out of the equation. We were a room full of professionals committed to getting better. Experience, titles, hierarchies, and the size of paychecks were non-existent.
And critically, the facilitators created a space of real psychological safety. There was zero shaming or critique, just honest and thoughtful feedback in service of growth.
Leaders take note: if you want people to take risks, try new approaches, and stretch into something bigger, you’ll need to build that kind of container too.
3. Small Shifts Create Big Gains
I’ve said this before, and it bears repeating: a big impact doesn’t require a big overhaul.
Over and over again, I watched colleagues radically shift their stage presence literally in minutes just by shifting where they stood, which words they emphasized, or what they did with their arms.
So if you’ve been told you need to adjust your style, rather than getting overwhelmed by the idea of a total reinvention, start small.
Pick one or two behaviors to play with. Then do a gut check:
Where, if anywhere, do I feel a shift in my body, clarity, or confidence?
Start there, see what happens, and adjust accordingly. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
This isn’t just true for speaking. It’s true for leadership and life.
Whether you’re stepping onto a literal stage, navigating a high-stakes leadership moment, or just trying to get through Tuesday, the lesson holds:
Growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone. But your comfort zone can expand if you choose to stretch it.
