Let me tell you about my time at Speech Mastery “camp” with a group of strangers.
Initially, they were all strangers, but after only a few sessions those strangers had become friends.
The psychological safety the facilitators created was so strong, we all felt it the moment we walked back into the room. And the joy we felt when we watched one of our colleagues completely transform was palpable. It was a reminder of how fast real connection and growth can happen in the right environment.
Here are three takeaways from another intense session of learning stagecraft.
1. What’s in service to your audience?
When you’re on stage, everything should be about the audience. The challenge is, human nature tends to have the non-professional actors among us defaulting to thoughts like, “OMG, I hope they like me,” “Please, please, please let me nail this presentation,” or “They look bored. Are they bored? OMG I’m boring!”
You get the idea. We make it about us. And when we do that, we’re no longer engaging with the audience, we’re focused inward. That doesn’t make for a compelling performance, whether you’re in the boardroom or on a Broadway stage.
The same holds true in leadership. When clients are preparing for challenging conversations, most of their energy goes into what to say, how to say it, and how to get the outcome they want (usually something like, “so they won’t get mad at me”). But if you shift your focus to the other person, consider what would be most helpful to them, and craft your message accordingly, the whole dynamic changes. Try it and see what happens. And then I double dog dare you to let me know what happens. I’d love to hear.
2. The amount you can push an audience is proportionate to how much they trust you.
Who knew theater had so much to teach us about leadership? If I want to challenge an audience with something provocative, I can’t do that effectively if I haven’t built trust first. Without it, they’ll tune out, feel offended, or worst case, judge me. (See above: “OMG I hope they like me!” 😂)
The same applies to leading others. If you haven’t built trust with your team, it’s going to be harder for them to hear tough feedback, take ownership of what needs to change, or speak up when something isn’t working.
You already know this, but I take great pride in my title as Queen of the Obvious. Trust is earned, not given. What are you doing to build it this week?
3. “The fear of recognition that I can do more.”
This was a direct quote from a classmate during a debrief. It was also my “oh shit” moment. Because she was right. I can do more. So can you. The real question is, do you want to? And what’s getting in your way?
I’ll go out on a limb here and say it’s probably fear.
If that wasn’t your answer, keep digging. I’m 99% sure fear is under there somewhere. Awareness is the first step. And it’s okay if fear, or something else, is in the mix. The real question is, what are you going to do about it?
If your answer is “nothing,” that’s a choice, so be intentional about it.
But if your answer is “nothing” because you’re too afraid to try something different, then I’m inviting you to step into a bigger, braver, more courageous version of yourself. Future you will thank you.
